


i'll catch you (on the flipside)

by falloutgirl



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: (multiple times), Canonical Character Death, Groundhog Day, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-11
Updated: 2014-08-11
Packaged: 2018-02-12 16:05:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2116131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/falloutgirl/pseuds/falloutgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I mean it, Buck. I don't know what's happening. All's I know is that every time I go back to sleep and wake up, it's the same day again. Today.”</p><p> </p><p>Steve is stuck in a groundhog day universe, reliving the worst day of his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'll catch you (on the flipside)

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY FIRST THINGS FIRST  
> this started out as an idea i sent one of the popular stucky blogs because i HAD to share it and then i couldn't get rid of it so i HAD to write it. thanks to zoie [doritorogers](http://doritorogers.tumblr.com/) for basically beta-ing it and telling me this wasn't a dumb idea!!!!! 
> 
> This is my first time writing for Steve/Bucky so i'm really sorry if anything is off, I'm still trying to get used to writing them!! I hope you all still like it, anyway!!!

Steve wakes up sweaty and with a crick in his neck. Through the tent he can hear the sounds of Dum Dum and Jim laughing while Dernier tries to explain what each curse word in French literally means in English.

 

When Steve steps out of the tent, hand on his neck, he sees Bucky cleaning his gun while half paying attention to the commotion of the other Commandos, smiling to himself. Bucky sees him and says, “Y'all right, Steve?” There is an undercurrent of actual concern in his voice, and for a moment it reminds Steve of a time before he was Captain America, when he was just Steve Rogers – a kid from Brooklyn. It makes something in his gut clench.

 

“I'm fine,” Steve replies, taking a seat next to Bucky. They received intel that Zola would be traveling by train through a mountain overpass, and in just a few hours, Steve and the rest of the Howling Commandos would be on their way to try and intercept him.

 

“Good,” Bucky jokes, “can't have Captain America getting cold feet before the show.”

 

“Ah, shut up, you jerk,” Steve replies with no real heat behind his words. He knocks shoulders with Bucky and they sit in companionable silence for a few moments.

 

Bucky is finishing up polishing his rifle, when he whispers, “Hey, Stevie, no matter what happens tomorrow,” there is a pause as Bucky puts his weapon away, “I want you to know that I didn't follow Captain America, I followed you.” Steve feels warmth spread through his body, and a smile tug at his lips. He wraps an arm around Bucky's shoulders, squeezing. Steve thinks, maybe, they'll be alright.

 

* * *

Steve's on the floor of the train car now, Bucky having pushed Steve away from getting hit by one of the blasts from Zola's guns. Steve sees the Hydra agent before Bucky does, and is too slow to react to pull him out of the way before he gets hit with the full blast of the gun, sending him out the side of the train car. Steve fires back quickly and then rushes to the side of the train car, reaching a hand out to try and grab Bucky, who's only dangling by a broken metal railing on the outside of the car. But it is not enough.

 

Bucky falls.

 

* * *

 

Steve's sitting in a bar, two glasses in front of him, eyes red rimmed, and even though Peggy's right next to him, telling him it's not his fault Bucky fell, Steve can't help but not believe her. He's supposed to be Captain America – supposed to be able to do great things and accomplish feats no one else can, yet he couldn't even reach the extra foot to grab his best friend before he fell into a snowy death below.

 

“I can't get drunk,” Steve says to Peggy, when there is a lapse in her speech and he has nothing else he can think to say. She looks at him with worry in her eyes, and puts a hand on his shoulder.

 

“Steve,” she reiterates, “it was not your fault Sergeant Barnes fell.”

 

Steve looks at Peggy and nods, even though inside the words don't fill the emptiness.

 

* * *

 

Steve wakes up sweaty and with a crick in his neck. Through the tent he can hear the sounds of Dum Dum and Jim laughing while Dernier tries to explain what each curse word in French literally means in English.

 

He bolts out of the tent, quick as lightning, only to see some of the Commandos talking by the fire, the rest still catching some sleep. Steve's eyes instantly lock on Bucky's form, still sitting near the group, cleaning his rifle like he was doing – yesterday? Steve doesn't know what's happening.

 

“Bucky!” he calls out and watches as Bucky turns around. Whatever emotion is playing on Steve's face has Bucky putting his rifle aside and at Steve's side in a matter of seconds.

 

“What's wrong, Stevie?” Bucky asks, worried. Steve doesn't think about what that nickname does to him, instead breathing, “You're alive,” into the crook of Bucky's neck as he pulls him into a tight hug.

 

“Well of course I am, punk. If I wasn't, who'd follow you into 'the jaws of death'?” Bucky makes those air quotes around that last part, laughing. Steve joins in too after a beat. “Yeah of course, you jerk. Just a weird dream I had.”

 

“Well if I knew you were dreaming about me, I'd have hoped it would be nice things.” They're making their way back to the Commados who are still up, Dernier still trying to explain to Dum Dum the complexities of the French language while Jim sits there between them, a flask in his hand, laughing.

 

Steve breathes a little easier.

 

“You ready?” Bucky asks after they've settled down and he's gone back to cleaning his rifle.

 

“I've got you,” Steve says, truthfully, “I'll always be ready.”

 

Bucky gives him a smirk and a wink, Steve's not sure if it should affect him as much as it does.

 

* * *

 

Steve's on the floor of the train car now ( _again_ ), Bucky having pushed Steve away from getting hit by one of the blasts from Zola's guns. Steve's having a horrible sense of deja vu, his dream(?) from the night before coming back in full force. He scrambles off the floor as quickly as he can and spots the Hydra agent before Bucky does.

 

He tries to pull Bucky out of the way, ( _again_ , a voice in his head tells him) before he gets hit with the full blast of the gun, but is not fast enough. Steve is quick to react to the agent in front of him and then rushes to the side of the train car, reaching a hand out to try and grab Bucky, who's only dangling by a broken metal railing on the outside of the car. But ( _again)_ it is not enough.

 

Bucky falls.

 * * *

 

Steve wakes up sweaty and with a crick in his neck. Through the tent he can hear the sounds of Dum Dum and Jim laughing while Dernier tries to explain what each curse word in French literally means in English.

 

“What the _fuck_ ,” Steve says to himself as he races out of the tent again, only to be met with the same sight he saw yesterday and the day before.

 

“Bucky!” Steve calls for him again, Bucky's cleaning his rifle but comes. “What's gotten into you?” He asks, “Is everything all right?”

 

“You're alive,” Steve parrots what he said yesterday.

 

“Well of course I am, punk. If I wasn't, who'd follow you into 'the jaws of death'?” Bucky makes those air quotes around that last part, laughing. Steve tries to shake the sense of dread he feels at hearing Bucky laugh. Yesterday, or maybe it wasn't yesterday – Steve's not sure what's going on, this was the last moment Bucky had laughed.

 

Noticing Steve's somber expression, Bucky asks, “Hey, now, Stevie, are you okay?”

 

Steve shakes himself out of it, “Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Just a weird dream.” Steve offers Bucky a smile.

 

“Well if I knew you were dreaming about me, I'd have hoped it would be nice things.”

 

“It's always nice things about you, Buck.” Steve accidentally lets his thoughts slip.

 

“Is that so, huh, Rogers? You really know how to sweet talk a guy.” Bucky winks at him ( _again),_ and gives him that smirk ( _again)_ and all Steve does is try to ignore the way Bucky makes him feel.

 

* * *

 

This time, Steve ducks to avoid the hit, the one that he knows will prompt Bucky to push him out of the way. He thinks he can try and change it now that he knows what could happen. What he doesn't count on is the Hydra agent ( _the one Bucky stopped before_ , his mind tells him) coming out and, this time – Bucky doesn't have the shield, Bucky can't protect himself – Bucky gets the full blast of the high tech weapon on him and he is thrown out the side of the train at full speed, not even a chance to grab onto the metal handles on the side of the train.

Steve can't even save his best friend.

 

Bucky falls again.

* * *

 

Steve wakes up sweaty and with a crick in his neck. Through the tent he can hear the sounds of Dum Dum and Jim laughing while Dernier tries to explain what each curse word in French literally means in English.

 

Steve doesn't even want to open his eyes, it is the seventh day of the same day, the day where he watches Bucky fall from that train and no matter what he does, he can't stop Bucky from dying.

 

He stays in his tent until Bucky comes to wake him up, telling him they need to leave for the mission in an hour if they want to be there on time.

 

“Come on you lazy punk, Captain America needs to defend his country's honor and glory and all that other patriotic shit.” Bucky laughs heartily as he rolls Steve out of the tent and gets him up.

 

 _Captain America may have to protect his country, but I only want to save you_ , Steve wants to say. But he doesn't. He bites his tongue. He knows what will happen today before it does.

 

“Okay,” he tells Bucky.

 

“Is everything all right, Steve?” Bucky asks as they start to gather their equipment.

 

“You know you're my _best friend_ , right?” Steve asks back. _Friend,_ Steve thinks to himself, _yes – friend._ Bucky looks a little startled by the sudden emotion Steve knows is obviously written across his face.

 

“Of course, Steve, 'til the end of the line, right?”

 

“Right.” It doesn't make Steve feel any better.

 

* * *

 

This time when Bucky falls off the train, the only thing Steve can hear is Bucky's resounding laughter echoing in his head.

 

* * *

 

Steve wakes up sweaty and with a crick in his neck. Through the tent he can hear the sounds of Dum Dum and Jim laughing while Dernier tries to explain what each curse word in French literally means in English.

 

It is day ten when Steve realizes that yesterday cannot exist because yesterday is _today_ , and all the other nine _yesterday's_ he's had before this mean nothing.

 

Because he's going to relive it.

 

Again.

 

(Bucky doesn't fall this time, it's a well placed blow by a Hydra agent that knocks Steve unconscious, And Steve can't do anything as he's drifting in and out,except to watch as Zola tells his agents to take Bucky back. “I have so many plans for him,” is the last thing Steve hears.)

 

* * *

Steve wakes up sweaty and with a crick in his neck. Through the tent he can hear the sounds of Dum Dum and Jim laughing while Dernier tries to explain what each curse word in French literally means in English.

 

It is day twelve and fifteen and eighteen and it never ends.

 

Bucky falls each time.

* * *

 

On day twenty Steve tells Bucky that he should switch with Jim, and stay at the top of the overpass. Bucky puts up a fight but concedes.

 

Steve thinks maybe this time he's finally figured out a way to save his Bucky. _Best friend,_ a voice in his head says.

 

“Bucky is so much more than that,” Steve whispers to himself.

 

When he's almost to the train he hears a distinct rumbling sound, and turns around in time to see the overpass he was just at get covered in a thick layer of snow.

 

Steve closes his eyes.

 

He knows what awaits him.

 

* * *

 

Steve wakes up sweaty and with a crick in his neck. Through the tent he can hear the sounds of Dum Dum and Jim laughing while Dernier tries to explain what each curse word in French literally means in English.

 

When Steve wakes up, he laughs to himself. Laughs at the fact that he has lived the same day over and over and over again, twenty-four times, and only now sees what he has missed over the last decade and a half.

 

He calls out for Bucky, “Can I talk to you for a moment?”

 

“Of course, Stevie.” Bucky fits himself inside the tent. “What's up?”

 

“I have lived this day over and over again for twenty-four times,” Steve says, not meeting Bucky's eyes. “I know exactly what will happen today because I've lived it.”

 

“What are you going on about Stevie? Too much to drink last night?” Bucky chuckles.

 

“I mean it, Buck. I don't know what's happening.” _Today's the day you die._ “All's I know is that every time I go back to sleep and wake up, it's the same day again. Today.”

 

“Well, maybe someone's giving you a chance to make things right, leave no regrets behind and all that.” Bucky shrugs. Steve knows without a doubt that Bucky believes him. For fuck's sake – Steve knows that Bucky has always believed him. Believed _in_ him.

 

And that's –

 

Steve wastes no time, and grabs Bucky's face without any preamble, pressing his lips to Bucky's, searing it into his memory. _If I can't have anything, I will have this._ He licks along Bucky's bottom lip, his hands going to the back of Bucky's neck. Bucky answers back in the kiss, pressing his entire self into it. Steve can feel the smirk of Bucky's lips against his, can feel the warmth of Bucky's breath as his mouth moves to Steve's neck.

 

Steve pulls Bucky tight against his chest. “I should have done that ages ago,” Steve's breathing comes out a little ragged, his lips shiny and red.

 

“I never thought – ” Bucky tries to say, but Steve stops him, “Always, I think. Even when I didn't know what it was. It was always you.”

 

Steve can feel Bucky's laugh against his chest, and he can't help the huge smile that is permanently stuck on his face.

 

– all Steve could have ever asked for.

* * *

 

This time when Bucky falls off that train again, Steve knows exactly what he must do. Without thinking about it, he dives off the side of the train, falls the thousands of feet below along side Bucky.

 

He catches up to Bucky, grabs a tight hold on him.

 

“You're a fucking idiot, you know that?” Bucky says as he grabs onto Steve for purchase.

 

It has been twenty-three times. Twenty-three times of watching Bucky die each and every time.

 

“I love you,” Steve replies into Bucky's ear, the wind whipping loudly around them. This is the twenty-fourth time Bucky will die, and Steve will die right along with him.

 

Steve closes his eyes.

 

* * *

 


End file.
